Living intentionally for the generations to come.
A heritage is defined as something that you inherit and pass down to the next generation. A lot of times it is thought of as a physical possession. As a stay-at-home mom/homemaker, what do I have to pass down to my children? The greatest heritage we can give to our children is not a possession, but a legacy of faith. But how do we pass on a heritage of faith? How do we ensure that we are modeling for our children that which is true, honorable, just, lovely, commendable, excellent and praiseworthy? (Philippians 4:8) Here are just a few practical ways to put this idea into action.
1. Model it.
Children are the great imitators. The saying goes, “Monkey see, monkey do”. We cannot expect them to live a faith filled life if we ourselves are not doing the same. We must model what a relationship with God looks like, through prayer and bible study. They need to know that God comes first, your marriage comes second, and they come third. If we are bearing the fruits of the spirit, they will likely take root in our children’s heart and bear fruit in them as well.
2. Confront your demons.
None of us are perfect, we will never be the perfect model of faith. Whether it’s a pet sin that we have been enslaved to or generational sin that we have inherited, we cannot grow until we confront it. Or maybe you are the one who has been sinned against, and you need to forgive and not pass on bitterness. Maybe you are holding on to shame and guilt. Whatever it may be, we must break the bonds that hold us. Let’s break the generational cycles that have been and set a new path for the generations to come.
Firstly, we must trust in Jesus for salvation. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, in salvation, we are empowered to overcome. Sometimes it takes time, trials, and struggles to work through these things. Romans 5:3-5 reminds us that our suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame. I am a huge advocate of therapy and Christian counseling. It can never hurt to have a safe place to work through the brokenness in our lives that we struggle with and hold on to.
“Let’s break the generational cycles that have been and set a new path for the generations to come.”
3. Serve together as a family.
I can remember as a pre-teen my mom waking us up one Saturday and taking us to the home of a widow in our church. We spent the morning raking the leaves in her yard. One year we bought gifts for a family that was going through a hard time around the holidays and dropped them off anonymously at their doorstep. I can remember my mom giggling with excitement as we drove away thinking of their joy and surprise.
My siblings and I went on foreign medical mission trips together with our mom, who was a nurse. We served with a ministry started by my grandfather who was a missionary and a medic in Vietnam. I treasure those trips and the connection it gave me to the faith my grandfather passed down to us.
I have often done similar things with my family, such as baking my Gigi’s banana bread recipe to take to all the neighbors on our street, or serving together in the food pantry at church, or delivering gifts to widows in our church around Valentine’s Day. All these seemingly small gestures set an expectation in our minds and hearts to see other’s needs around us and put them before our own. What a heritage to give them!
4. Prioritize Family Time
We live in a time when every moment of our days can be filled with seemingly good things. However, if we aren’t careful, we can fill our days until they are overflowing. With three kids all in different activities, sometimes our family can be so busy we rarely see each other. Our days are spent dividing and conquering. My husband takes one child to robotics club, while I’m with another at the ball field. We enforce a strict one activity per kid rule for this very reason. Still we can often be gone 4-5 nights of the week.
It’s hard, I know! But you can’t truly love each other if you don’t truly know each other. It doesn’t have to be big trips or gestures to spend time together, it can be simply prioritizing dinner around the table without screens. Even if that means eating dinner at 4 o’clock or 9 o’clock because someone has practice, games, or club meeting.
Dinner doesn’t have to be an elaborate home cooked meal. Some of my kids’ favorite dinners are charcuterie boards! They think it’s a fancy lunch-able. When we carve out time to truly sit and be with each other, we all leave feeling more connected and rooted to our heritage as a family. It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just must be intentional.
5. Write a Family Mission Statement.
Businesses often have mission statements to give their employees and consumers a clear idea of their purpose. While our families are not businesses and our children are not employees, a clear mission statement can be helpful to keep your focus as a family on your priorities. This is our family mission statement. We use it to filter big decisions and refer to it during family worship and discipline when the need arises. We have it posted in the entry of our home to be a reminder to hold each other accountable to our mission as a family and as Christ followers.
6. Repent and Forgive.
As scripture reminds us, none of us will get it right 100% of the time. I certainly do not. We will inevitably fail our children, and they will fail us. But the Lord’s kindness leads us to repentance, and I think the same is true for us with our children. This is why one of the main points in our family mission statement is to practice repentance and forgiveness. When we as parents acknowledge where we have failed and ask for forgiveness from our children, they will see repentance modeled for them. They need to see us grieve our sin, they need to hear us praying to the Lord for forgiveness and asking for help to turn from our sin.
Truly the kind of heritage that we long to pass down to our children and their children, a heritage of faith and good works, is one we cannot do on our own. We must rely on the power of the Holy Spirit in us to do these things. With Christ’s help we must take up our crosses daily and serve our families with kindness and gentleness. I’m here in your corner, friend, cheering you on to righteousness and a lasting heritage that brings all the honor and glory to God.
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